Change of heart...

It is amazing to think how easily the person you love and trusted to grow old with could have a change of heart. Although we recently began life as a family of three, Kurt left me to find more lovable, like minded, and fun people. I feel sad for him to not see that in me or to work on finding that again in our relationship, but that is his loss. I feel sad for him that he will miss participating in a large portion of his daughter’s life in order to find passion and excitement through experiences with others.

I have and will continue to always appreciate the people I have in my life. I appreciate them for who they are and what they bring to my life. Everyday living is not always filled with excitement or goes the way we expect, but realistic living is being thankful for what you have, working to be a good person who leads a good life, and utilizing the gifts that you have been given to their best potential. That is how I have always lived my life and can't imagine living it any other way.

I can't thank my family and friends enough for supporting us in this extremely difficult time. We are truly blessed to have so many caring people in our lives. I love you all very much.

For now, I am struggling to find myself again, but I know that will come with time. I am scared about being all that Ava deserves from two parents seven days a week, but I know that my best is all I can give. I look forward to 2009 as a fresh start. Living in a new town and working in a new job may or may not make that easier – we’ll see. God has given me many gifts and a few of them (unfortunately proven) are forgiveness, persistence, and the ability to make the best out of any situation presented to me. I pray that I am able to use those gifts to their full potential as I experience this new reality for my immediate family.

If you are interested in following our updates and the progress I am making toward finding my way in the world as a strong single woman and parent, check out our new blog at http://raisingavalinh.blogspot.com/

The miracle of Ava continues to amaze me, so I am sure that many posts will include pictures and stories of the antics of Ava Linh and the things that she is teaching me each day, from her most recent lessons including that it's o.k. every once in a while to throw a fit like a two year old to cherishing the small things and living in the moment.

After I get it fully set up, you will need to request access to the new "Meg and Ava" blog – just email me to let me know you are interested and you will have my permission, megnowak@yahoo.com. Take care and Happy 2009.

The interesting thing about this particular post is how unique and common the experience described above is to several people. Some of the beautiful lines were written by a college friend as she experienced something very similar. When I read her blog, I felt as though she had written my experience, feelings and gratitude down word for word the way I would have, so I asked to share some of them again.